What is Grieving?

Grieving is the process of emotional and life adjustment you go through after a loss. Grieving after a loved one's death is also known as bereavement.
Grieving is a personal experience. Depending on who you are and the nature of your loss, your process of grieving will be different from another person's experience. There is no "normal and expected" period of time for grieving. Some people adjust to a new life within several weeks or months. Others take a year or more, particularly when their daily life has been radically changed or their loss was traumatic and unexpected.
What are common symptoms of grief and grieving?
A wide range of feelings and symptoms are common during grieving. While feeling shock, numbness, sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, or fear, you may also find moments of relief, peace, or happiness. While grieving is not simply sadness, “the blues,” or depression, you may become depressed or overly anxious during the grieving process.
The stress of grief and grieving can take a physical toll on your body. Sleeplessness is common, as is a weakened immune system over time. If you have a chronic illness, grieving can worsen your condition.
Although it may be possible to postpone grieving, it is not possible to avoid grieving altogether. If life circumstances make it difficult for you to stop, feel, and live through the grieving process, you can expect grief to eventually erupt sometime in the future. In the meantime, unresolved grief can affect your quality of life and relationships with others.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is similar to the normal process of mourning, but it occurs before the actual death (in anticipation of the death).
While mourning is usually discussed in regards to the family and loved ones of a dying person, anticipatory grief can be experienced by the family, loved ones, and the child dying. Anticipatory grief occurs before death, often as a result of a terminal diagnosis or to a life-threatening illness, when death is a possibility. This grief has some common stages among people in the same situation, however, every individual and family is different and experiences grief, death, and illness in their own unique way.²
What are the different phases of anticipatory grief?
Grief and mourning do not have specified volumes or time restrictions. Each individual expresses his/her grief and bereavement in his/her own way and time. Anticipatory grief may include the following phases, though not exclusively in this order. Grief is often an expression which includes each of these phases or stages in multiple times, intensities, and orders.¹
· Phase IIn this stage, an individual realizes that death is inevitable and there is no expectation for a cure. Sadness and depression are often associated with this first stage of grief.
· Phase IIThe next phase of anticipatory grief is concern for the dying person. Family members may regret arguments or disciplining the dying child. For the dying child, concern may be increased for him/herself and his/her own fears of death, or because of the emotions expressed by loved ones around him/her.
· Phase IIIIn this phase, the actual death may be "rehearsed." The physical process of death and what may happen after death are concerns in this phase. Funeral arrangements and saying good-bye to loved ones may occur as a result of some anticipatory grieving.
· Phase IVIn the last phase, loved ones may be imagining what their lives are going to be like without the person that is dying. Parents may be thinking about the unused toys left behind, missed proms and birthdays, or even what they are going to tell the child's teachers when school is missed. Siblings may wonder what it will be like to lose their brother or sister.
The person dying may think about life after death. The person dying may also try to imagine what it will be like for his/her loved ones to live without him/her.